OK, the dress appointment with ‘my seamstress’ didn’t happen last week. I’ve put it down to The Clash of the Timetables.
We’re going to do the first consult in ten days’ time. Not this Saturday – she has one last fitting with some bridesmaids that are flying in from Sydney.
As you do.
Might give you some details on my bridal party. There will be me and The Mister.
No bridesmaids, no ‘best man’.
I decided this on the three C’s – Choice, Cost and Can’t be shagged.
Choice being how does one choose to bestow this honour on a friend or sister? Well, you can take that second one out of the equation. I don’t have a sister. Four brothers but no sisters.
Im also a lucky duck that has a shedload of besties (sometimes beasties, but besties most of the time). There are so many amazing people in my life and I just couldn’t put myself through the anguish of ranking them in a pecking order (ha, no wonder they call it a hen’s party). And why just girls? Right this very minute, my ‘best friend’ is a bloke.
I’ve been through this process of being chosen or not chosen. As much as I loved the brides I , umm, maided for, it does not guarantee you’ll get along with the other ‘chosen ones’. Some of them are downright bitches, especially when the bride says ‘it’s up to you guys’. The claws can be worse than playing Monday night netball against some southern suburbs.
On the whole, it’s quite a commitment and I just couldn’t expect that my best friends (all 29 of them) would be willing to give up non-work hours to do this. Yes I know there are some parts of the ‘job’ that are super fun, and I don’t want to sound ungrateful…. But I know Im a much better guest than an attendant and I couldn’t push something I don’t even like onto my pals.
The cost for a bridesmaid. It has to be approached like a business decision, if you’re going to ask someone, give them a ballpark on what’s expected before they agree. I’m talking money and time ballpark figures. Write a list, write a note, write a figure on a napkin and slide it across the table. Be realistic, not just with the expected costs, but keep in mind you may not know the true financial situation the prospective bridesmaid may be under. Your estimates may send them packing down to Cash Converters to get a ill-thought about, high interest bite-in-the-arse loans. You’ll be surprised at how many bridesmaids will assume at the beginning that the bride will pay for most things. Uhh, no. It’s usually the other way around.
This brings me to Can’t Be Shagged.
Just read the last couple of paragraphs again.
When you get down to the bare bones of it, you need a witness and your partner needs a witness for the certificate.
So we chose witnesses. He chose his brother and I chose one of my dearest friends.
How did I pick her? I know her as well as I know myself. She doesn’t have a sister either. So we’re kind of each other’s.
So who is going to help me with all this planning…? My mum.
When I hinted that my mum might tag along to the first dress meeting, my seamstress, without skipping a beat, blurted ‘bride only’.
This is going to get interesting.