So I joined a couple of wedding forums. I did it so you didn’t have to.
I started reading some of the ‘sticky’s’ that remain on the top of one of the forums, to get an idea of different sites’ different rules.
No I didn’t.
I went straight to the post titled ‘bothered brides’ to see what’s getting our betrothed all worked up. And seriously, I am not going to waste my time reading stuff like ‘non-wedding chit-chat’ when there are far more tantilising threads that include ‘Share your concerns and grievances with other to-be-weds’.
This was going to be the Dolly Doctor of the wedding sites. I made a cup of tea and got settled. Let the salaciousness begin…
I was between reading Are they insulting me or is it just a ‘bride thing’ and beyond furious!!! when I realised I wasn’t enjoying this poor-cousin Jackie Collins as much as I anticipated.
These posts were riddled with acronyms I couldn’t understand.
I thought that once you got engaged you would be predisposed to reading this weird text-speak. I mean, I have been using LOL for years. I did find out the hard way that doesn’t mean ‘lots of love’…
I found that while having a perve at these forums, I needed to have an acronym dictionary open on my screen as well. And I’m sad to report that a problem with a certain bride’s STD wasn’t actually about some ill-thought-out tryst in the loos at the Hip-E-Club.
These girls, while their problems were slightly trivial to me, they spoke in a punchy tech-savvy slang that put me to shame. I didn’t understand it.
But this is why I am glad that I don’t understand it. I don’t do the acronym thing as I don’t want to exclude anyone. Acronyms can linguistically shut people out.
Mind you, I have said the words ‘forum’, ‘thread’ and ‘sticky’s’. I assume you know. If you don’t, you will need to consult Wikipedia.
OK try to translate this sentence….
While we’re not having BM or GM or a BP (I did think perhaps COB might’ve worked) we sure do hope to find an original way to tell MBS when I am FAB.
While we’re not having Bridesmaid or Groomsman or a Bridal Party (I did think perhaps Cousin Of Bride might’ve worked) but we hope to find an original way to tell My Bridal Story when I am Finally A Bride.
OK. Crap sentence, but you get the picture. Bottom line is – it’s isolating for a new reader.
Just write the damn word.
BM = Bridesmaid or Best Man. I personally like ‘Bridesman’ and ‘Best Maid’.
BP = Bridal Party. Not the oil company but it does make this story more interesting.
DH = Dear Husband. He can be expensive.
E-ring = engagement ring. See I thought anything with a precursory e is tech-speak for ‘online’.
FI = Fiancé (male) or Fiancée (female). Not to be confused with my friend Fiona, known as Fie.
FIL = Father In Law. How lucky would you be if your FIL’s name was Phil?
FILs = Future in-laws, sometimes referred to as:
- FBIL = Future Brother-in-law
- FFIL = Future Father-in-law
- FMIL = Future Mother-in-law
- FSIL = Future Sister-in-law – See I just call all these geezers by their names.
HM = Honeymoon. Otherwise known as BSH or the ‘body slam holiday’. No?
GM = Groomsmen. Really? A lot to answer for here then.
LTBM = Living together before marriage. At your own peril. If you do this you will burn in hell for eternity 😀
MIL = Mother In Law. This is a tricky one if you have younger brothers. Eh? Could easily fall into a whole other acronym….
RB = Ring Bearer. LOL.
RD = Rehearsal Dinner. American. But a practice dinner is important for those who forget how dinner goes.
TY = Thank you. I don’t think this should ever be shortened. Say it. Often. In normal life.
WP = wedding party. Does this mean that WPA stands for the band ‘Weddings, Parties, Anything’? Methinks yes.
B2B = Bride-To-Be. Reminds me of Boyz II Men.
FAB = Finally a Bride. Might as well say ‘the chosen one’.
MBS = My Bride Story. Save this for your aunties. Not your Facebook status updates.
DIYB = Do It Yourself Bride. Also known as BB for Bunnings Bride.
COB = Cousins of Bride. My cousins, especially Laura and Nina, would smack me over the head if I dared call them COBs.
RB = Runaway Bride. Otherwise known as a crap movie.
FTBB = Fit To Be Bride. Say what..?
BTBI = Bride to Be Invitations. This phrase is used so often it needs an acronym?
B&G = Bride & Groom. In my case this can be supplemented with Pip and The Mister. Ta.
POB = Parents of Bride. No.
BG = Bride Groom. There is ALREADY an acronym for this! Isn’t it FI for fiance..?
BF = Bride’s Family. Too close to BFF. Or boyfriend. Or beef for short.
BB = Blushing Bride. This is also ‘Baptist Bride’. So be warned.
FOB = Father of Bride. Call him Kev.
BA = Bride’s Age. Ask for my BA and I turn into BA – BA Baracus.
PB = Princess Bride. A top film….. It’s also The Mister and my initials. Nawww.