This time last year I was gearing up for the wedding. Sure, it would have been nearly just shy of a year away, but I was squirrelling away like a dame with a rock on her left ring finger.
Because I was a dame with a rock on my left ring finger.
And I still do, but the itch underneath said ring is now slightly less inflamed as it was this time last year.
Right. This time last year, I was busy. I was organising this wedding like it was nobody’s business.
*Cue obligatory montage of organising a wedding with a song like ‘Suddenly I See’ as the montage music*
Then it got to November and our ‘I dos’ became our ‘I dids’, hopped on a plane to the other side of the planet and then…
It was over.
All of a sudden I had nothing to organise. Nothing needed my attention or credit card number.
I didn’t have to collect anymore friggen glass jam jars. Or pay for overpriced eyebrow waxes.
Or have an excuse to buy bridal magazines… or justify having a gross overrepresentation of wedding apps on my phone.
Haaaang on, was I, ergh, missing it?
Well… I have a lot more time to catch up on The Walking Dead and Girls and I’m not re-pinning the absolute shit out of everything from Martha Stewart Weddings. In fact, I’ve hardly been on Pinterest at all.
The thing is, when you’re organising a wedding – or another staggeringly huge event – you’re in it. It’s intoxicating.
You’re painfully aware of how deranged you sound when updating Facebook, keeping everyone across the latest first-world problem. But seriously, the invitation saga still makes my left eyelid twitch. That really was a serious problem. Really.
I’ll be honest, you’re pretty much pinging for months.
And then… you’re not.
Yeeeees, you have your whole life with your wonderful partner and how wonderful your wonderful life is. I get it.
But the brakes have been applied – hard.
I was at a wedding only a couple of weeks ago. It was the first one since my own. While it was divine, I felt a bit flat. I kept scolding myself. I mean, I just had my turn. I had to stop myself systematically thinking I should’ve done this way or that way… or had the reception at the North Perth Town Hall because it was so freaking ADORABLE.
No really, unless you can find a DeLorean with an operational flux-capacitor (seriously, call me), you have to stop with the ‘what ifs’.
But it’s sometimes hard to differentiate between nostalgia and melancholy, isn’t it?
Maybe that’s why I still haven’t done the Thank You notes yet.
Well, they’re done, they’re just not posted.
Well, then it really is over.
But is this the full-blown post-nuptial depression that the wedding forum posters fret about? Well, no. But I can understand how easily that slippery slope can slip.
The Mister says he misses the anticipation, but that’s about it, he also says that he can understand why newlyweds get knocked-up pretty quickly or jump into the real estate game mere weeks after the wedding. These are the Next Big Things to look forward to.
Yes, and I realise I am making generalisations about what people do at certain times in their lives. But they are the things that you might update as ‘Life Events’ on your Facebook timeline. You wouldn’t list ‘found an awesome pair of cashmere legwarmers’ as a Life Event… would you? Hang on, would you? OK, scratch that, maybe you would. But you catch my drift.
The funny thing is, I don’t know HOW I HAD THE TIME to do all the stuff I did.
As soon as I close my eyes and remember my lounge room covered in bits of twine, inky stamps, misspelt names scrawled across ruined envelopes, nine 40-centimetre long dinosaurs, 55 festoon lanterns, a wedding gown and a million empty and washed-out jam jars… I open my eyes, and it’s all gone. Except for the dinosaurs, we kept those, they were too expensive to leave it to the centrepiece looters on the night.
Part of me is focussed on the Next Big Thing.
Right now, it’s the dishes in the sink.
But the Mister is right, this is usually when couple’s start thinking about expanding their newly nuptialised family unit, buying a house or taking up Zumba. Me? I’ve just booked a super short trip up to Bali for my new brother-in-law’s 40th. So that’s one thing I’m psyched about.
After that, I might really start living and start a couple of new boards on Pinterest or learn once and for all how to cook rice (I know, I know).
My Next Big Thing is actually looking for a bigger place for us to live with our nine dinosaurs.
But until then, I have some serious time to claw back.
And I’m not the type to plan a trip to hike the Appalachian Trail. Although The Mister just told me that sounds awesome, so I guess he’s now looking forward to doing that by himself.
My time, right now, is all about sleep, reading books, cooking pasta, wearing trackies, bike riding, catching up with mates (and actually letting them bang on about what’s going on in their lives), creating a weird room with my wedding dress on a mannequin, and to no longer be distracted by miniature chalkboards and losing my shit over seating charts, but to actually fire on all cylinders at work.
As soon as you’ve had some decent rest, you just wait, you’ll be organising your Next Big Thing like it’s nobody’s business. Again.